Plot:
Ever seen Mr & Miss Smith? No? Ok then, lady meets attractive and slightly mysterious man while on holidays. Cue whirlwind romance and marriage, cue people trying to kill them, both in the movie and shortly after the first audiences leave the theaters.
Reasons it’s on the list:
Oh goody, a film featuring two of my least favourite actors, the gormless idiot from Mtv's Punk'd and the blonde one from Grey's Anatomy. Ashton Kutcher has always been an actor whose luck is grossly disproportionate to his skill. From having Harrison Ford point out his lack of any talent on Hollywood Homicide (a film they both co-starred in!) to being the frontman of the worst tv show of all time (ok aside from Wifeswap, seriously what the hell?) Kutcher's continued appearance on the silver screen confuses me. On the other hand Katherine Heigl at least started strong by appearing in the smart and funny Knocked Up. She has just gotten lazy since then however and now seems to live on a diet of drivel like Killers.
As for the film itself, let me describe a typical scene. Some bad guys will show up, only to get brutally murdered by Spencer (Kutcher). Jen (Heigl) will then make a weak rom-com pun about it and we are expected not to get vicious whiplash from this utter tonal shift. That goes on for most of this film. Director Robert Luketic seems to try to be splicing his only major hit (Legally Blonde) with The Bourne Legacy. I shouldn't need to point out how little this formula works. As with any film where the tone is unsteady, no real connection is formed and instead the film quickly grows tedious. Even the talents of Tom Selleck and Catherine O'Hara as Jens parents cant save this, which would be hard in either case as they are not used at all beyond adding more names to the credits.
This would just be a disappointing trip to the cinema were it not for the lack of anything memorable in the entire film. Seriously when I wanted to write this review I first had to re-watch this film and when I sat to write this review a few days later I'd forgotten it all over again. Its a black hole of a film that lacks anything remotely interesting. Its worse then just a weak bad film, its an absolute waste of time. For me personally there is very little in the world quite as awful. Say what you will about the other films on this list so far but I do recall The Last Airbender. Try as I might not to.
Yes This May Be Slightly Lazy. But Tell Me I'm Wrong, I Dare You.
If you hated this, also avoid: The Bounty Hunter
The Bounty Hunter is just strange and upsetting. Gerard Bulter couldn’t be more aware his film sucks as he goes after his ex-wife, Jenifer Aniston (who at least can act like a stung ex pretty well, zing!!). The music in this film is oddly just out of place with everything going on in every scene as to remind one of nails on a chalk board. Its inept to the point of maddening. Gerald looks so uncomfortable you want to give him a hug and the script is painfully full of cute moments and little else, all of which are annoying. It is at least far more memorable thenKillers, as I remember wanting to leave the cinema.
Now it gets serious. The top five worst films of the year, No.5 coming up at 4pm tomorrow. Til then!
was Ashton kutcher in Hollywood Homicide? i thought twas Josh Hartnet... *scratches head thoughtfully*
ReplyDeleteOh zing. Poor research on your part Tim.
ReplyDeleteOh wankbots, that was a big zinger on my part, time to edit the fuck outta this!
ReplyDeleteOk new section to replace "From having Harrison Ford point out his lack of any talent on Hollywood Homicide (a film they both co-starred in!")... instead of this section id like to edit it to..
..Fuck Ashton Kutcher.
Though the story of Harrison Ford's words to his co-star are very true, Ford was horrified by the inexperience he was forced to work with